I finally know my phobia

Mayb f now phobia

It is bein attached t someone

its kind of troublesome t b wif someone

hav t tink abt him n u

Hav t b by his side 24/7

Hav t worry if he s cheating

If he alrite

Or y he nv call

hav t entertain him

Hav t divide time wif frenz n him

Wait up f him

Hav t follow him

Hav t listen t him

Really i rather spend more time on myself than anyone else. I enjoy my ME-TIME. Mayb not now. So im withdrawing my stead any guy tat asked me policy. I enjoy my life t much t wish it away.

I BOUGHT A TANKINI. Luv it.

Ytd was fun yet dissapointing. We were rejectted by a eurasian who gave us a wrong number. Not tat we really want his number. It was a dare n he gave as a fucking wrong no. Cant believe it. I feel so . Rejected. But he was fugly t me.

Yes. Another 4 days t sch. Yipee.I can c al those irritating teachers. I can start doing hws again. I can start studying f tests. I can listen t morning assembly again. Im so excited. How wonderful can life be.

My trip t the chalet was inevitable boring. It was bloody too. I got hit on the nose. I scrap my leg against some stupid cement. I fall down from my bike. skates. God it was a disaster. Never in my life i ll do such thing again.

It funny rite wen once it strike 12md , its t nxt day. I always wait til Mdnite. N i feel like i lose something cause tday has become ytd. N wat ever happen tday s history. God it scare the shit outta me t think abt it.

Anyway i dont think im blogging wen school reopen. Nid t concentrate studying. N wen school reopen will b my mt oral. I always hate oral. I dun c the point of reading infront of a teacher. Hope i score well though. I nid t get my grades.

I nid t dye my hair again.

I nid t Really start studying cause tat nite after CSI, I didnt study. I Played Xbox. N went t net again. N saw something tat really shocked me. N i couldnt sleep til 4 in the morning thinking abt it. Everytime i start opening my book, I think abt it.

I nid t stop thinking abt him and it n the whole situation.

I nid t go on a shoping spree t relax n stop thinking.

I nid someone t help me stop thinkin abt it .

I nid t start calling up my fren n chat wif them.

I nid t find a new talking buddy. Cause al r now t BUZY t talk t me.

I nid t find out why everybody s buzy except me.

I nid a new sms buddy.

I nid t get my zen asap.

I mus go t GC concert.

I nid t convince my mum.

I nid t find $.

I nid t pull my social life back up.

I nid t stop locking myself in my house t avoid t world.

I nid t learn how t take public transport again.

I nid t find a new place t hang out.

I nid t finish up al those hws.

I nid t figure up why my mini disc s spoilt.

SO many things. so little time.

OMG.

Everyone s having a friendster. Tat's ok. But BLOG?? Like those minahs having blog. They actually write entries. Wtf s wrong wif this world. The worst in friendster s they put up thier pix n write in their caption. ' Cute tak?' or 'Lawa tak?'. Again, WTF?

this s what u call abusing technology.

Hate it when the govt changed stuffs ard here. Like my area they building this park f the public. They destroyed the trees n the hill tat i dreamt of climbing one fine day but NOW i CANT cause its GONE. Another dream destroyed. Hav t fine another hill.

Went t Arab street wif my mum. The sultan place, They rebuilt it into some stupid warisan place. N those terrace houses, They r rebuilding it. I din c the point of preserving history by rebuilding it. So it's not history anymore right.

U knoe at places where u least xpect t find a cute guy, tats where u ll find one. Like at arab street, there were tons ot it at every turn. Tday went out wif fidah n my theory was right again. I really, really didnt xpect anyone hot but there he was in his uniform which was ugly but he make it so gd on him. I wont tell u where it is cause u ppl will chase after him. I wouldnt want tat t happen, wouldnt i.

I luv my dad. HE bought me this cloth worth 200 cause i really like it. It was luv at first sight. So pretty, N it wasnt any ordinary cloth, Only 7 outta whole spore tat hav it. So IM ONE OF THE 7! lUV my dad so much so now im studying hard f him. After writing this post n eating my dinner n after CSI.

Here's a lil tip if u want t sell some tickets for donation.

(1) U hav t b hot or the person u employed to be hot.

(2) Have a mixture of guys n girls so guys will approach female victim n vise versa

(3) If u r a guy, This is wat u say." Hi chiobu/jambu. Nak donate? " This way they feel light headed n give al their $ away.

(4) If u r a girl, U dun hav t say anything at al cause guys wif thier ego will donate so as not t lose face. So typical.

Some guy approached me saying the above line. I said no but he keep on insisting. He was quite cute but im not tat desperate t give my precious $ go away.

oH number (5) Find someone mentally inclined.

Theres this HUGO boss ad on tv. The guy in the lift. I felt tat he has this mysterious eyes tat stir me inside. He's kind of old. Mayb like 30. But somehow he got this sexy thing ard him. Dunno if theres something wrg wif me but u guys check it out.

Another 2 days. Fidahs going t bangkok. Another 3 days im going tat chalet at EC. God it will b boring trust me. No towel service. No message service. No lift service. No cleaning service. How t hell am i suppose t call it a hols? Really hope wawa s coming. Really miss assyari n farhan n irfan. When they come back, They will b al grown up.Hope they did changed tat much.

UnLIKE ME tat changed so much tat none of my pri sch fren could recognise me. Saw 2 of them tday. Still rmmber their name. Huimin n derrick or desmond. Cant really tell who s who since they r twins. I had enough. I had enough of me knoeing them n they dunno me. IT'S always i say.

' HI!. _____ Right? Remember me? Zalena. 6B.Pri 5 im in 5c. Haha yes i changed alot. Oh hehe. Oh now Jurong. SOmewhere at taman jurong. U nv heard of jurong before? Haha. Not a big surprise there. Ya its t ugly grey uniform. And u? Os this yr, ya right. Ok.'

So i now i choose t ignore al.

So 2 weeks zoom reaaaaaaaaaaalllllllllllly fast.

I planned t study. I really did. It went well f t 1 day. Doin History Mindmap n al. When second day came. I got . Distracted. Til tday!

Mayb nxt week.

This yrs June hols s here. How boring. Chalet. I prefer a grand hotel than a chalet but me n my parents didnt share t same tastes.

Omg. Good Charlotte s comin t town. I want t go. But its on july. Why muz they come NOW. I nid t go! They say Gc concert s better than Sp. But sP S SO FAB. So this will be EXTRA FAB. Hate Os. Please let my mum allow me.

Everyone gone f camp. Juz when i finally decided my fate ytd on my bed. Since i got no one t talk t, I ll write here! How lucky r u folks!

So i decided tat im GOIN t b an accountant. Yes. Im goin poly taking an accountant degree. Den go University taking Business. I did alot of thinking n it seem this S t fastest way t get RICH.

Unless if i score like 10 pts f Os . If i SCORE 10 pts, i ll go JC. Take up this radio thingy. Basically looking through X rays n stuffs. Then ill b a radiothingy! Ahh. Its so nice t finallly knoe what t b. N I tot of al this within 5 Minutes before i go t bed.

Before deciding my future, i was heartbroken actually. My boy BEST fren has a gf. My heart ache t think everyone has grow up having a GIRL. Then i began t think. For al this yrs, HE s the one who accompanied me everywhere. And he was there t listen t me eventhough he's bad at comforting. He's there wen im in trouble n we went thru ALOT tgether.When everyone let me down, He's always there. N now he's wif sum bitch. Really i hav no right calling her a bitch but i hated her since i first saw her. Now he s not there anymore. Always wif his GIRL. God . Wat t hell happen t the phrase Frenz Come First. N he was t first guy who brought me home. So sweet. Maybe i took him f granted n this s my punishmt. Wish everything was like last time. No string attached. Juz couple of kids hanging out tgether. T turn back clock s wat i guess EVERYONE want.

My old buddy gave me this no of my another fren. We went a long way n left school wif unfinished business. I duno if i want t message. If i message wat wld i say! Will he even talk t me when he knoes it's me? Wat if im rejected again by t same person. God i will nv live life again if tat happen. Mayb part of t reasons im rejecting guys is probably him. He left this hugh impact on my life then juz walk away. Tat's y i hate it when ppl juz walk away from me. I tot 4 yrs was enough t like forget him. I guess i mistook myself AGAIN. Not surprise there. I really shld d sumthing t connect me n my brain.

I cant believe i been thinking alot bcos of sum fucking guy but they say he's gd-lookin. Im really clueless f t first time in yrs.

I wont really bother if i write abt this two guys in my social link wif the world wide world. Not like they even use the net.

I decided tat the nxt person who ask me out or sumthing , Ill will accept. I want t c wat's so big abt t whole stead thing. Anyway its my last yr. Anything goes wrong, I wont b seeing them anyway in abt 6 mths time.

I guess everyone s t same. They r not happy or satisfied or thankful or grateful wif wat they have, constantly asking for more until it goes away. Some ppl make small things complicated.

Some juz are afraid t make a mistake or rejectted or left alone so they dun move up n remain in the safe zone. They live in constant fear n they repeat their daily jobs everyday which eventually become a routine . Life juz become meaningless . Empty juz like the black nite sky they stare alone evry nite in their bedroom.

Some r juz too arrogent, thinking the world is theirs to keep. Goin ard killing anyone they one. Or for the teens nowadays they usse t word ' hung '. Ya. Whatever.

N love. A complicated subject. Gender. Boys complainin tat they dun understd girls. N girls vice versa. Its all the same problem. But delicated situation. Wat i learn in my 15 yrs of living s truthful t yourself n others is the only policy.

Friends. Evryone nids them. No matter how powerful u r in terms of ur position. Boys/girls come n go. Fren will remain. Even those wif gf/ bf, They wont b able t hang ard wif them 2 4/7. Eventually they will get irritated which leads t complicate breakups.

Family. The most impt of al. Leave them n you ll b al alone in this ugly world.