IM SIXTEEN! I really hav no idea why this age s so impt for ppl in USA. The Mtv.Sweet sixteen. Those wild party. Compare t ppl here in spore is like we r ancient

way i had a hell of a time wif khay n Manda on the 1st.Went town till 8+. The latest time i ever had in town. Yes im a good girl wif strict parents. But they allow me out tat day. So happy. N on TOP of tat, they bought me a *drumroll* ZEN. OMGOMGOMG. lUV THEM SO VERY MUCH. A zen. FINALLY. Now figuring out how to use it. Hot pink. K i prefer black but my mum said it was out of stock. But i OWN a zen!

Yvonne.Gek san.Swezin.Er fang.Yong wei. Ft. Abigail. THANKS SO MUCH. =]

Lalalalala. I wanna watch wedding crasher. It NC 16. Tats wat i heard.

I went f the cc concert.

At the beginning it was a drag

Then HAIKEL came n bring the house dwn xcept nobody was moving t the music but me n khay.

Such a boring crowd.

The AFTER PARTY was FUN.

By tat time it was ard 11+. N ppl were dancing on the basketball court. The music was blaring really loudly. There was this indian man he was DANCING. Really dancing. N was at the center of attention. Ltr there was a dance off. He n his son i think. SO HILARIOUS, Juz like in a club.It went wild when someone spray water all over. There s this white shirt malay guy. God he CAN dance. So HAPPENING. tHE NEIGHBOURHOOD SPRIT. Minus the aunty n uncle n babies. Jus us . The teenagers.

N I TOOK A PHOTO WIF RANDALL. OMG. hope it look awesome after the jumping n screaming. HEHS. Randall was standing at the stage looking at us gone wild. Nobody give a shit abt him after taufiq n sly went away. So sad. BUT i took a photo wif him! So handsome despite being 34. Nxt time wen there s a party over there. Im hitting f t after party.

I found the PERFECT GUY.

OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG

Hes a fren of my fren.

When i first saw him. seems like i knoe him forever. N i mean REALLY.

He s so hot yet he s so fucking cool.

He s charming YET clumsy

He s witty. But he has something serious in him.

Hes so confident of himself.

His attire.

A black circle stud on his left ear. Simple tee. Low pant jeans. Just t way i like it.

OMG.

His smile.

Cant describe it.

The problem is. He s YOUNGER. MFS.

Ok NEXT.

i FAILED my math.Mr Lee was like talking to me. He s the only teacher who had confident in me to score A1 f os. I let him dwn. N me too. So sad.

Rc harmony day ytd ytd ytd um one week ago i think was FUN.Better than last yr.

Now Im studying t art of controlling anger. Its like i had loads of it. Its so fun. Makes me feel so free. I didnt hold on to grudges. Its so ytd. anyway dd u al know anger makes u old. Im more into religion now. Touching learning abt it bit by bit. So many stuffs i can learn! I cnt believe i didnt xplore my religion til im 15. N i learning to forgive n accept. So prd of myself

This pass week had been depressing i mus say.

I DIDNT GO T GC CONCERT.

Mayb next time wen my PARENTS r like kind enuf t buy TIX f me.

Life s full of surprises. The ppl u xpect t b there wasnt there instead sumone u least xpected was.

A butterfly tattoo above ur navel. Ur belly button pierced too.Juz t way i like it. Luv sexy songs.

IM on t phone wif THIS BEAU GIRL WHO GUIDE ME BACK T THE RITE WAY OF LIFE n she obstructiing my train of tots. SO. tats al folks!

Its al settled.

I knoe t real BACKSTABBER

I never feel so ashamed about someone before.

But wat t
hell .

I didnt knoe anyone by her name in my whole life before.

Yes Mt ORAL tday

Fucking hell . I got nothin t say for convo. Fuck. I wished t grd had open up n swallow me but NO it wouldnt. No matter how hard i beg it juz wouldnt open up.

I was like staring at them n they at me.

Horrible.

NEXT.

Luv Mr T.
Always there wen i nid someone.

Luv Amanda
F always laughin f no reasons at al n say tat she hates me f making her laugh when al i did was sit dwn n do nothin

Luv syahid.
Not luv LUV. F making me laugh without doin anything.

Luv __________

F no reason =]

Hate__________

Who wasnt there f me.

HATE___________

F makin me belief u r innocent

Hate_______

F not there when i was there f u.

hate___________

F not writin me a testy

Hate______, ______

F not bein entirely on mY SIDE.

oH I found my hp. God the moment i found my hp, There were loads of sms. Suddenly i was in another situation. I dunno if i had my hp during tat period of time, wat would i ans. Mayb wen my hp wen missing it was f t best.

I lost my hp.

Yeay.

How xciting.

God life sux now.

So happy mon no sch.

After sch , straight away go hm.

Really its more peaceful here.

Compare to there.

My opinion s my opinion. Really. I didnt c t point why he took it so seriously. Call me a backstabber. Lemme define backstabber. It s someone who tell things about you that you dont want anyone to know, you trust that person and then they go and tell all of your secrets . Tat s a backstabber. N really i havnt talk t him f mths n i hav no interest in his secret .Beta yet i hav absolutely no interest in spreading anything related t him. So ya. Whatever. Im juz sick n tired of al this shit.

I finally know my phobia

Mayb f now phobia

It is bein attached t someone

its kind of troublesome t b wif someone

hav t tink abt him n u

Hav t b by his side 24/7

Hav t worry if he s cheating

If he alrite

Or y he nv call

hav t entertain him

Hav t divide time wif frenz n him

Wait up f him

Hav t follow him

Hav t listen t him

Really i rather spend more time on myself than anyone else. I enjoy my ME-TIME. Mayb not now. So im withdrawing my stead any guy tat asked me policy. I enjoy my life t much t wish it away.

I BOUGHT A TANKINI. Luv it.

Ytd was fun yet dissapointing. We were rejectted by a eurasian who gave us a wrong number. Not tat we really want his number. It was a dare n he gave as a fucking wrong no. Cant believe it. I feel so . Rejected. But he was fugly t me.

Yes. Another 4 days t sch. Yipee.I can c al those irritating teachers. I can start doing hws again. I can start studying f tests. I can listen t morning assembly again. Im so excited. How wonderful can life be.

My trip t the chalet was inevitable boring. It was bloody too. I got hit on the nose. I scrap my leg against some stupid cement. I fall down from my bike. skates. God it was a disaster. Never in my life i ll do such thing again.

It funny rite wen once it strike 12md , its t nxt day. I always wait til Mdnite. N i feel like i lose something cause tday has become ytd. N wat ever happen tday s history. God it scare the shit outta me t think abt it.

Anyway i dont think im blogging wen school reopen. Nid t concentrate studying. N wen school reopen will b my mt oral. I always hate oral. I dun c the point of reading infront of a teacher. Hope i score well though. I nid t get my grades.

I nid t dye my hair again.

I nid t Really start studying cause tat nite after CSI, I didnt study. I Played Xbox. N went t net again. N saw something tat really shocked me. N i couldnt sleep til 4 in the morning thinking abt it. Everytime i start opening my book, I think abt it.

I nid t stop thinking abt him and it n the whole situation.

I nid t go on a shoping spree t relax n stop thinking.

I nid someone t help me stop thinkin abt it .

I nid t start calling up my fren n chat wif them.

I nid t find a new talking buddy. Cause al r now t BUZY t talk t me.

I nid t find out why everybody s buzy except me.

I nid a new sms buddy.

I nid t get my zen asap.

I mus go t GC concert.

I nid t convince my mum.

I nid t find $.

I nid t pull my social life back up.

I nid t stop locking myself in my house t avoid t world.

I nid t learn how t take public transport again.

I nid t find a new place t hang out.

I nid t finish up al those hws.

I nid t figure up why my mini disc s spoilt.

SO many things. so little time.

OMG.

Everyone s having a friendster. Tat's ok. But BLOG?? Like those minahs having blog. They actually write entries. Wtf s wrong wif this world. The worst in friendster s they put up thier pix n write in their caption. ' Cute tak?' or 'Lawa tak?'. Again, WTF?

this s what u call abusing technology.

Hate it when the govt changed stuffs ard here. Like my area they building this park f the public. They destroyed the trees n the hill tat i dreamt of climbing one fine day but NOW i CANT cause its GONE. Another dream destroyed. Hav t fine another hill.

Went t Arab street wif my mum. The sultan place, They rebuilt it into some stupid warisan place. N those terrace houses, They r rebuilding it. I din c the point of preserving history by rebuilding it. So it's not history anymore right.

U knoe at places where u least xpect t find a cute guy, tats where u ll find one. Like at arab street, there were tons ot it at every turn. Tday went out wif fidah n my theory was right again. I really, really didnt xpect anyone hot but there he was in his uniform which was ugly but he make it so gd on him. I wont tell u where it is cause u ppl will chase after him. I wouldnt want tat t happen, wouldnt i.

I luv my dad. HE bought me this cloth worth 200 cause i really like it. It was luv at first sight. So pretty, N it wasnt any ordinary cloth, Only 7 outta whole spore tat hav it. So IM ONE OF THE 7! lUV my dad so much so now im studying hard f him. After writing this post n eating my dinner n after CSI.

Here's a lil tip if u want t sell some tickets for donation.

(1) U hav t b hot or the person u employed to be hot.

(2) Have a mixture of guys n girls so guys will approach female victim n vise versa

(3) If u r a guy, This is wat u say." Hi chiobu/jambu. Nak donate? " This way they feel light headed n give al their $ away.

(4) If u r a girl, U dun hav t say anything at al cause guys wif thier ego will donate so as not t lose face. So typical.

Some guy approached me saying the above line. I said no but he keep on insisting. He was quite cute but im not tat desperate t give my precious $ go away.

oH number (5) Find someone mentally inclined.

Theres this HUGO boss ad on tv. The guy in the lift. I felt tat he has this mysterious eyes tat stir me inside. He's kind of old. Mayb like 30. But somehow he got this sexy thing ard him. Dunno if theres something wrg wif me but u guys check it out.

Another 2 days. Fidahs going t bangkok. Another 3 days im going tat chalet at EC. God it will b boring trust me. No towel service. No message service. No lift service. No cleaning service. How t hell am i suppose t call it a hols? Really hope wawa s coming. Really miss assyari n farhan n irfan. When they come back, They will b al grown up.Hope they did changed tat much.

UnLIKE ME tat changed so much tat none of my pri sch fren could recognise me. Saw 2 of them tday. Still rmmber their name. Huimin n derrick or desmond. Cant really tell who s who since they r twins. I had enough. I had enough of me knoeing them n they dunno me. IT'S always i say.

' HI!. _____ Right? Remember me? Zalena. 6B.Pri 5 im in 5c. Haha yes i changed alot. Oh hehe. Oh now Jurong. SOmewhere at taman jurong. U nv heard of jurong before? Haha. Not a big surprise there. Ya its t ugly grey uniform. And u? Os this yr, ya right. Ok.'

So i now i choose t ignore al.

So 2 weeks zoom reaaaaaaaaaaalllllllllllly fast.

I planned t study. I really did. It went well f t 1 day. Doin History Mindmap n al. When second day came. I got . Distracted. Til tday!

Mayb nxt week.

This yrs June hols s here. How boring. Chalet. I prefer a grand hotel than a chalet but me n my parents didnt share t same tastes.

Omg. Good Charlotte s comin t town. I want t go. But its on july. Why muz they come NOW. I nid t go! They say Gc concert s better than Sp. But sP S SO FAB. So this will be EXTRA FAB. Hate Os. Please let my mum allow me.

Everyone gone f camp. Juz when i finally decided my fate ytd on my bed. Since i got no one t talk t, I ll write here! How lucky r u folks!

So i decided tat im GOIN t b an accountant. Yes. Im goin poly taking an accountant degree. Den go University taking Business. I did alot of thinking n it seem this S t fastest way t get RICH.

Unless if i score like 10 pts f Os . If i SCORE 10 pts, i ll go JC. Take up this radio thingy. Basically looking through X rays n stuffs. Then ill b a radiothingy! Ahh. Its so nice t finallly knoe what t b. N I tot of al this within 5 Minutes before i go t bed.

Before deciding my future, i was heartbroken actually. My boy BEST fren has a gf. My heart ache t think everyone has grow up having a GIRL. Then i began t think. For al this yrs, HE s the one who accompanied me everywhere. And he was there t listen t me eventhough he's bad at comforting. He's there wen im in trouble n we went thru ALOT tgether.When everyone let me down, He's always there. N now he's wif sum bitch. Really i hav no right calling her a bitch but i hated her since i first saw her. Now he s not there anymore. Always wif his GIRL. God . Wat t hell happen t the phrase Frenz Come First. N he was t first guy who brought me home. So sweet. Maybe i took him f granted n this s my punishmt. Wish everything was like last time. No string attached. Juz couple of kids hanging out tgether. T turn back clock s wat i guess EVERYONE want.

My old buddy gave me this no of my another fren. We went a long way n left school wif unfinished business. I duno if i want t message. If i message wat wld i say! Will he even talk t me when he knoes it's me? Wat if im rejected again by t same person. God i will nv live life again if tat happen. Mayb part of t reasons im rejecting guys is probably him. He left this hugh impact on my life then juz walk away. Tat's y i hate it when ppl juz walk away from me. I tot 4 yrs was enough t like forget him. I guess i mistook myself AGAIN. Not surprise there. I really shld d sumthing t connect me n my brain.

I cant believe i been thinking alot bcos of sum fucking guy but they say he's gd-lookin. Im really clueless f t first time in yrs.

I wont really bother if i write abt this two guys in my social link wif the world wide world. Not like they even use the net.

I decided tat the nxt person who ask me out or sumthing , Ill will accept. I want t c wat's so big abt t whole stead thing. Anyway its my last yr. Anything goes wrong, I wont b seeing them anyway in abt 6 mths time.

I guess everyone s t same. They r not happy or satisfied or thankful or grateful wif wat they have, constantly asking for more until it goes away. Some ppl make small things complicated.

Some juz are afraid t make a mistake or rejectted or left alone so they dun move up n remain in the safe zone. They live in constant fear n they repeat their daily jobs everyday which eventually become a routine . Life juz become meaningless . Empty juz like the black nite sky they stare alone evry nite in their bedroom.

Some r juz too arrogent, thinking the world is theirs to keep. Goin ard killing anyone they one. Or for the teens nowadays they usse t word ' hung '. Ya. Whatever.

N love. A complicated subject. Gender. Boys complainin tat they dun understd girls. N girls vice versa. Its all the same problem. But delicated situation. Wat i learn in my 15 yrs of living s truthful t yourself n others is the only policy.

Friends. Evryone nids them. No matter how powerful u r in terms of ur position. Boys/girls come n go. Fren will remain. Even those wif gf/ bf, They wont b able t hang ard wif them 2 4/7. Eventually they will get irritated which leads t complicate breakups.

Family. The most impt of al. Leave them n you ll b al alone in this ugly world.

YEAY.

NO MALAY f another 3 monthssssssssssssss. If im lucky , f the rest of my LIFE!!!!Paper was ok. But then when i check my paper alot of mistakes. So i really nid t d well f oral n listening.

I was abandoned AGAIN tday. Whatever. I refuse t give a shit abt it.

Anyway. Here's a lil tip f u if u might try my cooking in t future.

1. Look really into ur food cause u migt not knoe if something inedible end up inside for example eggshells etc.

2. If u r eating bread, check t back of ur bread t c if there s any burn. I ll assure u there will b some so do whatever needed.

3. If u dun eat meat. Aww. Too bad.

4. The colour of ur food dosent really mean anything. It's t taste tat count

5. Tell me earlier if u r a health freak

6. fOOd tat r suppose t b sweet ll b salty. Vise versa. Cause i will nv b able t tell apart which s salt n which s sugar. unless if i got lucky

LALALALAHoliday my ass. FUCK. So many classesss. How t hell m i suppose t get 13 pt if i nid t come t sch every single day f sum stupid talk.

So piss yty. Every one left me. So difficult t find someone t go out wif me. =\

Os ANOTHER two days. Yeay. Finally.

Any way. Parent meeting. My mum was so obsess wif me failing my Eng. N asking my teacher if i nid tuition. I have ALOT of tuitionss. N i dun nid another one thank you. I dun c y my dad nid t spent loads of his $ on me. Every month s like 200+ . Such a waste. I can buy a like 2 zen in 3 mth

some say we nv meant t grow up
im sure they nv knew enough
i knoe the pressure wont go away
Too late.
Find out which ever somehow
its too late
to even hav faith now
Dun think things will ever change
U mus b dreaming

Think before u make up yr mind
U dun seem t realise
i can do this on my own
N if i fall
I ll take it all
its so easy after all

Believe me
Cause now s t time t try
Dun wait f t chance t passby
Tough love
t figure it out
U cant say its too late
seems like everything we do
turn out they r nv even true
dont trust things will ever change
U mus b dreaming

RESULTS R OUT
So dissapointed

L1R5 = 30

I nv get below 30 before t think abt it. I was expecting a 20+. Not a single A. Most B. couple of Cs. I cant belief i pass Amath. Scared t shit outta me. My paper 1 failed really badly but my paper 2 was a miracle. My teacher was like ' how zalena u did well f paper2 but u fail paper 1.' N i was like ' I passed. Omg. ' I was SO happy til i got my nxt paper. I got B4 f malay. =] Mayb t paper is eazy.

Failed my eng n history. History was expected. After all i came t the hall learning only chapter 1. Which did not come out f SEQ.

Im aiming f L1R5 = 13 f Os. Im goin t do it. F now concentrating f malay . Another 1 week time.

Having tuition EVERY SINGLE day. Been doing malay f 2 weeks now. It's driving me up t wall. Hoping t get a B3. pLS let t paper b easy esp bina ayat.

Went f my first shopping trip f months. WIF gek SAn n khay mar. It WAS fabulous. If only every day w like yesterday. We went t Orchard at first. It was kinda ZZZ. Den Far East. We took the esclator backwards. N i spent 6 bucks on BK. We took the bus intending t go t arab street. bUT we ended up So far away from Arab street N had t walk. The distance we walked had t b like running 2.4. Arab street was g8. T stuffs r the same. But a good place t fing hot guys. I spot one. A group of Eurasians. Only one guy was hot. N they r in a BAND. On MY hot-O-meter, He probably be a perfect 10.

Then frm There we went t mustafa. On the way hm on the mrt, Khay was acting high n mighty. Pretending t b rich wif a 5 story bangalow n firing her driver f not picking us up. Hilarious. gEK san was laughing continuously. Actually all 3 of us were n ppl was staring n listening t khay speakin.Her story is not at all straight which makes it even funnier .

Mum was babblering by the time i came home. But she cool off. Tday is my fav daddy's bday n i didnt buy him anything.=] AT the end of the day i didnt buy anything But it was a fantastic day.

A perfect girls day out. Lub u both. Thanks f the swit day after all tat mugging!

Xam is almost OVER.HEHS sO HAPPY. fEEL A lil bit sad f those whose xam goin t end on WED.

So ya. One week bf my xam. I went for a hol. So good rite. YA a HOLIDAY. i HAD A BIT OF ARGUEMT between myself abt goin. But the inner me was like 'go go' n the sensible me was like 'u have an xam another 3 days n u want t g f a hol. RU NUTS?' bUT Upon hearing the news tat it was a 5 star hotel. I decided Xam r not importent anyway. O lvl is wat counted. So the hotel. It was rank 5 star. bUT T me i tink it's like 4 star. 480 ONE nite. Rm tat is. Quite cheap ya. N i had a room wif my bro n couz. My dad n mum another room of coz. Who share their room wif their parents anyway.So it was FANTASTIC. Bought this jeans ard 199 RM. N i READ IN A MAG TAT JOJO wear it too. wOW. Den i bought my first ever malay cd. Peterpan. YA the title sound silly but god the songs r made from heaven. The lead is damn hot. N he wrote the songs HIMSELF. sO SWEET. It's al abt girls breakin his heart. Fuck. WHo wants t break his heart. So charming.

Got back hm 3 days latr. N my xam came. Now it's almt OVER.

Went t lib couple weeks ago. There was this REALLY cute guy. In grey sweatshirt. He smiled at me n came over my area.He gave me a letter. It said 'u r beau.' I wrote my no. N pass it back t him. HE msg me. N we met in the middle of the lib. Walk away from the others t another side. PASS all those rowdy jss kids. N we sat at a corner. We talked. HE saw i was shivering. It was damn cold.Got out from his sweatshirt n let me wear it. So SWEET RITE. ANyway if u belief this story. Got u r so gullible. Like this happened in real life. HEHS. BUt the guy exist though. He WAS STARING AT ME. n I was afraid t make eye contact. Den he went away. So sad. I hate it when they do tat. When they juz walk away. =(

Enough of fariytale.

IM goin back t reality. In this ugly world.

HAH

U NV GONNA BELIEVE WAT HAPPENED JUZ NOW.

Some freak on a bike came up to me n asked for my number.Wat the hell. I was so afraid. At first he was like stoppin infront of me then he pretend to fiddle wif his bike. i walked a lil further n he was riding his bike n turned n smiled at me. I was so freaked. So called Khay mar. N he U turn n came back to me n ask for my number. Stupid kid. I was like Oh not my phone my brother. N he said ok. He quite ok looking but im scared wif guys who suddenly come up no convo no nothin n ask my no. A lil suspicious dun u think. Lucky he didnt follow me home. Walking on the street near th road is now dangerous. wAT WRONG WIF THE WORLD TDAY.

ANIWAY. Failed my EM. Pass my Am . Pass my phy. So dissapointed wif my Em result. Nv failed before. So so sad on tat day. Nvm. There's always sweet old mid yr to look forward to.=I I havent even start doin REVISION. Hate tat word. It like i ve been reading the same tb for 1 year now n i still couldnt get inside. Lucky i Combined my science. Feel so much lesser pressure.

Oh ya. NAFA comin up. Right before mid yr. How thoughtful can school be. I failed my trial 2.4 by half minute. Wat a waste.

tHERE'S this arguemt goin ard btw the guys. Tot tat only girls argue but this prove guys do to. Over A stupid thing too. [--.']

This r pics taken at MAi wen we went to ssee taufiq. THANKS FID.

=] 

mai aishah liana me taufiq 

HAH . This WEEK. cAN say quite ok. Can say one of the worst.

First thing first. My COMMON TEST. GOD. I going to sux.Im deep shit dead. So difficult. HOW t get 6 points Like this? HAIX.SO disspointing.

FAILED my MT AGAIN.

FUCK

I HAV A BLOODY TUTION WHICH COST LIKE 2 20. SO dissapointed.

My 2.4 trial run.GOD. ALMOST FAILED. When i was in the middle of the run i was like screaming IM SO TIRED n this cute guy was like PENAT DIk, LARI in malay. N he look at me. DAMN IT i looked so horrible. HE still can flirt wif me. =) IT motivate me to run a further 2 metre. LOLS. NID more cute guys f me t complete the whole course.

SO MANY NEW SONGS OUT NOW. LUV THEM.TDAE teacher parent meeting. SO BORING. Luckily my mum didnt come. She would fall asleep the whole time.

AMANDA bought zen. IM so jealous.

Everyday nowadays ill sit infront of the mirror n asking y im so ugly. Guess ill nv find it out. Then ill be wat the hell m i doing. Ahh.. My life. Im still a shallow kid. buT nvm im going t accept who im n not change . LUV my myself. My friends. My family. ESPECIALLY my BED.

I WENT TOO THE SIMPLE PLAN AND THE AVRIL'S CONCERT. OMG. LUV MY MUM. LUV TO TELL DEEPER.

BUT REALLY I GOT LOADS OF HWS TO DO

N COMMON TEST WEEK COMING UP.

N I HAVEN START STUDYING.

MAYB AFTER ALL THE CHOAS R STRAIGHTEN UP,

I WILL WRITE AGAIN

TIL THEN. STUDY!STUDY! STUDY! =]

OH. Aniway my tagboard is up n running perfectly. Feel free to tag. Juz stroll down the other box.

SPORTS DAY.

WOOHOO. fANTASTIC

ME N KM .WOoohoo

we called out the GUYS n the GIRLS

Those good lookin ones. N the ppl we knoe.

N made small lil bets

But nobodys paying. Who the hell has $$ nowadays

Hate the np ppl. Everytime ask to Stand back. So fuctating.We were standing / sitting at the front. There's this cute lil guy. He was in ALOT of events. n he ALWAYS came last. So CUTE. He nv give up. My idol. Lols.

The teachers' race.

So STUPID

LEE team won. --." YUCKS.

The BEST sport day I had IN yrs.

After tat wen to Km hse.

Not telling wat we were doing.

But we had FUN

ciao

H O L I D A Y is O V E R. It was the fastest hols tat i eva had. I didnt do ANYTHING at all. Plan to start studying. Guess tat didnt work out. Nowadays Im so lazy to go out. I rather stay at hm n do nothin than go out. It gets boring after awhile goin to the same place. OVVER n OVER again. Im too lazy to find a new place to hang ard.

I got a new phone. So happy (=

Saw my old fren. HE such A fuckin MANIAC. But wateve. He's my past.

OMG.

I cant believe i forget to tell u kids abt liana b'dae party. It was last mon.I was late. As usual. Tat time i still got sore throat. I did see the doctor. He said sumething is swelling. Tat's y i couldnt talk. But i still went to the party. There were two ice cream cakes. Didnt want to eat it at first. but then wat's a party without the cake. So i ate it. n GUESS WAT. I could talk after tat. HAH. It was MIRACLE. Then. i got to knoe something abt my bro. Gawd tat guy. I hav no comment abt him. Got no idea wat when wrong. BUT the party was FAB.

Caught the movie A Walk To Remember. Damn good movie. REALLY like it. Cried the whole time. HAiz. Such thing Only happen in the movie world but it doesnt hurt to dream. Been doing tat alot lately.

Ahh feeling bliss. The freedom. Enjoy it while it last.

To those ppl who knoe abt my situation , iM PROUD to say i HAVE done it. I had finally stop procastinating n told him. The whole truth. Sms of coz. Like i want to speak to him face to face. N guess wat.He's fucking egoistic person. But whatever. Im free.

To fly.

In my land.

Full of red roses.

Chocolates trees swarming ard me.

N best of all.

A L L Alone n wif edison. Lols.

iM so sick now. Wif sore throat. So fucktating. Cant talk properly. Especially todae being last day. For the term. Gawd. Time SURE move fast.

We had a 'celebration' in sch todae. So much of a celebration. Teachers yakking. I was sitting at the back. Catching up wif my old fren. N got back my progress card. Dissapointing 21. Cant believe i failed eng. Haiz. Dissapointment is great.BUt i ll work harder. =)

ciao. Oh ya. if U r reading my blog pls tag k. cause i need ta knoe who's reading abt me.

My mum's bday was yesterdae. Bought her the True Star . With my bro. So now im deep shit broke. Cut my hair. Im so screwed. But nvm. I dun really care.

Im so dissapointed of meself. Didnt perform up to my expectation. Fuck all those tests. Fuck the world.

I am an angel. Im a devil. Sometimes im in between.I like to be by myelf. I hate to be alone. Im sometimes up n sometimes down. I always find way to change. But i hate ppl changing me.Im someone filled with self- belief. And haunted by self-doubt. Im a puzzle.Try figure me up. This is part of the thrill.Part of the plan. Part of everything Im.

-.I bruise easily. .So be gentle wen u handle me. .Scratch the surface . .Without moving me.-

It's raining. luv rain. luv clouds. luv water. luv dews.

-.Here i go. scream my lungs out. trying to get to u. u r my only one. -

I knoe u r confused. So am i.

-.If only i could turn back time.If only i could say wat i had hide.If only i could turn back time.I would stay for awhile.-

I m sorry. So sorry. Yea im selfish. Thinkin. the world is mine. time will stop for me. taking away thing tat r not mine n return it shattered. Im perfect n u r not.Im too shallow. Even for u.

For a certain someone.

Had e geog test. Did studied it. For a LONG time. memorised the whole chapter. Hope this will pull thru unlike the rest. Or i will definately give up on it.

Ciao

. H E L O F O L K S .

Life is good.

Seeto didnt come to school.For like e first time.Yoooooooooooooohooooooooo

Went to Tp wif KM. HUYU. LYNETTE. N this girl in 3'2. Went home.Changed. n mit. Wif our skirts n km's shirt.Lols. Ppl were staring.Either bcos we look gd or mayb we were causing LOADS of commotion n think we r crazy.

School fucking enormous. Girls r freaking HOT. E guys. Sum r flaming but most r down right nerds. It was the only poly tat BLOWS me away. Applied for e 17 card. Got a free dye. The fashion course was awesome. Am considering to go there even it is like a one hour journey. But the school is worthy.

On the way back. We ran for the 69 bus. The irritating old man saw us but he didnt wait for us. Fuck up person. Den we got on another bus tat came by n we ended up at Tamp. The couple behing us was literally sucking. N the girl sound like E.F. They were pissed wif the noise we make. Sue us.We r teens.

I am officially a combine student. N i feel g8 abt it.

Ciao

[ v] day is OVER . Planned to sell roses n all but didnt make it cause found out need to get a permit.Nvm maybe next yr WEN we hav NOTHIN to do. Lols. Ok. To me the perfect [v] gift is a box of huge guylian chocolates n a rose. BUT my fucking date didnt buy me anything n i had to stay back school til 5.15 for sum fucking phy remedial. But wat the hell.It had been fun listening to mr lim n km n kaynes fighting words to each other.

So anyway there is a test tmr. GEo. This subject.No matter how hard i study, i will nv be able to ans correctly. So y bother.

ANyway i was planning for a clean-things up day whereby i clear up all my problems n things tat i have been avoiding but the problem is i'll always push the day to the nxt day. n u r wondering wat's the point. YEA i wondered tat too.

lately i've becoming so cookoo. n i forget small lil stuffs.Like i tot i did my hws already then at 12md i opened up my file n everything blank. stupid thing. N i hav not been concentrating in class cause after every lesson ill be like wat the hell is the teacher talking abt. n nxt week is COMMON TEST WEEK. but 'O's doesnt include CAs. So y bother again. n wen my friends were having convo.Ill be in my own world n dun even realised tat someone was talking to me.

Everyone been studying hard. Maybe not everyone but chen yan had. He had started studying for his geog n i haven. Gawd this is so first time.

My friend. She an acad and last yr took her Os n guess wat she's doing now. She is in ACJC now. Studying. IF she can do it so can i.

TODAY was an interesting dae. Saw taufiq batisah. SAT with him. TALK to him.TAKE pics with him. SIGN my papersss. TAKE pics again.But it's nothing biggie.He seems such a normal guy wif talent according to liana. True i have to say. Im not a big fan of him. But a celeb will always be a celeb i guess.

Wen out with HIM a few days ago. He's nice n all paying my launch. but we got nothing to say to each other. like he say' we cant hav a conv tat can last 2 mins' True.Again. n wen i was out wif him, i couldnt look at him in the face. I look at other guys tat look at me instead. Lols. Im so fuck up. Wat to do. I tink he's waiting for me to sms him cause the last time he message me, I told him i was buzy. I hope i didnt raise false hope for him.

I was recommended to drop my pure n combine. I guess im doing it. Looking at the bright side i dun hav to study half as hard n still score A. cool.

I NID A HUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG.

FUCK.IM SO SCREWED.HELPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP

It's been soooooooooooo long since i last updated. U r now looking at the brand new me. I hav vowed not to be sad. dissapointed. furious over a guy. I realised i have my frenz. For example there was once i was soo moody den during geo i sat wif Km. n it was fucking fun. She was telling me abt de world stupidest criminals n i had a blast laughing.Of coz seeto interrupted n scolded. N i was happy for the rest of the day. Im starting to go for my cca. It's fun, i guess. Ordering the kids ard. i decided not to drop my subject. If the rest of my frenz can do it , im doing it all the way. Im going to study fucking hard for my O to get a beter future so i can ENJOY shopping sprees for the rest of my life. DO u ppl ever wonder why most songs are abt being in luv or being hurt cause of luv. I came up a possibility. Luv is the only thing in the world tat everyone takes interest in no matter how hurt they are bcos of it.It is something tat give different effects to diff pple. N i agree on the song tat' nothing hurts like luv' by daniel beddingfield. Haiz for those being hurt, the pain will go away but the scar will remain.But look at a positive side, u gain knowledge when u got hurt rite? N those who r confused abt luv, confession is the answer. For those now in luv, good luck for u. My brother's fren died yesterday.He's on the front page in the malay paper. Let's do a one minute silence for him. ok. He's juz 21. Haiz.Really pitied the family. I guess some things are much more worst than the problems we faced.. This is a reminder for all. If u hav tat thing deep in ur heart tat u want to tell someone, tell it before it's too late coz u'll never knoe wen u nid to go.

Gawd all this teachers telling us abt Os like we dun knoe how impt it is .--" Aniway. I had been studying. For the couples of days on the first week of january. But after tat i was too lazy to bother .Maybe next week, i'll start fresh by doing my hw here at home instead of at sch. Eh nxt week is last week of january. Tat was fast. yeassh. So anyway. Im cured. i think. i dunno. maybe. I haven been out since 1 jan. So sunday's trip will be my second outing for this year. ...........................................................................................................................................................Hah my life is a mess. i did absolute nothing educational or social for the pass 3 weeks. WHo am i to kid. im NOT cure. All i do is go home.On my radio or cds.Listen to it for hours. And sleep. Im definately not cured.

Im crushed. For now. Rejected someone i liked . Dun ask me why.i got no answer to tat question. After living for 15 yrs, i still dunno who i m. Wat i want wat i need and wat i desire. I still dun knoe wat is right to do or wat is not. i dunno where to go to or what im goin to become. i dunno who i liked and who i love. Wat i feel n wat's my mood. Wat's iimpt or was will nv be impt. To go left or to go right. I dun even trust myself to begin with. Set couple of rules for myself yesterday. Never expect and there wont be dissapointment and dun assume anything or anyone. Talked to mr lim yesterday.Discuss with him the possibility of me dropping some subjects. Maybe i will.Not that i can handle the subjects anyway. S aw Cruel Intentions on starmovie. Fucking great movie but didnt managed to watch the ending. Anyone who watched it, please tell me wat happened in the end. How was school? Hmm.. horrible. Had to do another freaking projects wif the same people who i simply hate. They never do anything to me. It's juz the face. Call me shallow.

New yr todae.Haha i dun feel any different.wAT's the big deal anyway!? So anyway i would like to do a thankful list for stuffs tat help me go thru this yr

` The maker of nutella.without u i would end up in the mental hospital

`The maker of Want Want. U help me fulfill my desire

` My ex tuiton teacher who changed my life when i was in pri 4. you make me a smarter person.Eventhough i dissapoint by ending up goin to this school, i might end up goin to worst school without ur help.Thanks soo much

` liana and khai for giving me bear2.Without him i might die of boredom

` the inventor of handphone. THanks for making this wonderful device.Eventhough i always arrived meetings late but without my hp i would be even later.And u help me get closer to some guys but sometimes u are a curse but let put tat aside

` My parents..for giving me my radio and other technology to kill my boredom and of coz givin birth to me and taking care of me for 15 yrs

` My computer. most of the time i spent cursing u but i hav to admit u help me get some work loads done and all those music i download and the wonderful ppl i met

` My blankie for keeping me warm when im cold and protecting me from the evil of the world

` fidah and shaf and taqiah . fOr still keeping close even when we are always apart

` My md player. THANKS for helping time pass by when i take any public transport.and blocking my mum's nagging

` My wonderful calender with all those codes.Motivate me to move further.ok tat wasnt true but it sounded good.

` my frenz for making school less sucky

` Fidah again for being there when i need u

` fadhirul and aishah for entertain me on the phone for very long hours

` Chun seng and viknesh and khay mar(sumtimes) for helping me to keep up in class

` Khay mar for making class interesting.Most of the time we ended up by u and the chong argueing abt u talking too much.ya interesting

`khai. For sticking up wif me.ya sumtimes i can be a bitch to hang ard wif so ya THANKS.

` amanda . i dun noe wat to thank for but thanks for being my friend. hope things doesnt change btw us

` shazwan. thanks la. for helping me to invent plans to not go for np and my studys and smsing me stupid stuffs



Ya thank you.. ** (= **