Ahh feeling bliss. The freedom. Enjoy it while it last.

To those ppl who knoe abt my situation , iM PROUD to say i HAVE done it. I had finally stop procastinating n told him. The whole truth. Sms of coz. Like i want to speak to him face to face. N guess wat.He's fucking egoistic person. But whatever. Im free.

To fly.

In my land.

Full of red roses.

Chocolates trees swarming ard me.

N best of all.

A L L Alone n wif edison. Lols.

iM so sick now. Wif sore throat. So fucktating. Cant talk properly. Especially todae being last day. For the term. Gawd. Time SURE move fast.

We had a 'celebration' in sch todae. So much of a celebration. Teachers yakking. I was sitting at the back. Catching up wif my old fren. N got back my progress card. Dissapointing 21. Cant believe i failed eng. Haiz. Dissapointment is great.BUt i ll work harder. =)

ciao. Oh ya. if U r reading my blog pls tag k. cause i need ta knoe who's reading abt me.

My mum's bday was yesterdae. Bought her the True Star . With my bro. So now im deep shit broke. Cut my hair. Im so screwed. But nvm. I dun really care.

Im so dissapointed of meself. Didnt perform up to my expectation. Fuck all those tests. Fuck the world.

I am an angel. Im a devil. Sometimes im in between.I like to be by myelf. I hate to be alone. Im sometimes up n sometimes down. I always find way to change. But i hate ppl changing me.Im someone filled with self- belief. And haunted by self-doubt. Im a puzzle.Try figure me up. This is part of the thrill.Part of the plan. Part of everything Im.

-.I bruise easily. .So be gentle wen u handle me. .Scratch the surface . .Without moving me.-

It's raining. luv rain. luv clouds. luv water. luv dews.

-.Here i go. scream my lungs out. trying to get to u. u r my only one. -

I knoe u r confused. So am i.

-.If only i could turn back time.If only i could say wat i had hide.If only i could turn back time.I would stay for awhile.-

I m sorry. So sorry. Yea im selfish. Thinkin. the world is mine. time will stop for me. taking away thing tat r not mine n return it shattered. Im perfect n u r not.Im too shallow. Even for u.

For a certain someone.

Had e geog test. Did studied it. For a LONG time. memorised the whole chapter. Hope this will pull thru unlike the rest. Or i will definately give up on it.

Ciao

. H E L O F O L K S .

Life is good.

Seeto didnt come to school.For like e first time.Yoooooooooooooohooooooooo

Went to Tp wif KM. HUYU. LYNETTE. N this girl in 3'2. Went home.Changed. n mit. Wif our skirts n km's shirt.Lols. Ppl were staring.Either bcos we look gd or mayb we were causing LOADS of commotion n think we r crazy.

School fucking enormous. Girls r freaking HOT. E guys. Sum r flaming but most r down right nerds. It was the only poly tat BLOWS me away. Applied for e 17 card. Got a free dye. The fashion course was awesome. Am considering to go there even it is like a one hour journey. But the school is worthy.

On the way back. We ran for the 69 bus. The irritating old man saw us but he didnt wait for us. Fuck up person. Den we got on another bus tat came by n we ended up at Tamp. The couple behing us was literally sucking. N the girl sound like E.F. They were pissed wif the noise we make. Sue us.We r teens.

I am officially a combine student. N i feel g8 abt it.

Ciao

[ v] day is OVER . Planned to sell roses n all but didnt make it cause found out need to get a permit.Nvm maybe next yr WEN we hav NOTHIN to do. Lols. Ok. To me the perfect [v] gift is a box of huge guylian chocolates n a rose. BUT my fucking date didnt buy me anything n i had to stay back school til 5.15 for sum fucking phy remedial. But wat the hell.It had been fun listening to mr lim n km n kaynes fighting words to each other.

So anyway there is a test tmr. GEo. This subject.No matter how hard i study, i will nv be able to ans correctly. So y bother.

ANyway i was planning for a clean-things up day whereby i clear up all my problems n things tat i have been avoiding but the problem is i'll always push the day to the nxt day. n u r wondering wat's the point. YEA i wondered tat too.

lately i've becoming so cookoo. n i forget small lil stuffs.Like i tot i did my hws already then at 12md i opened up my file n everything blank. stupid thing. N i hav not been concentrating in class cause after every lesson ill be like wat the hell is the teacher talking abt. n nxt week is COMMON TEST WEEK. but 'O's doesnt include CAs. So y bother again. n wen my friends were having convo.Ill be in my own world n dun even realised tat someone was talking to me.

Everyone been studying hard. Maybe not everyone but chen yan had. He had started studying for his geog n i haven. Gawd this is so first time.

My friend. She an acad and last yr took her Os n guess wat she's doing now. She is in ACJC now. Studying. IF she can do it so can i.

TODAY was an interesting dae. Saw taufiq batisah. SAT with him. TALK to him.TAKE pics with him. SIGN my papersss. TAKE pics again.But it's nothing biggie.He seems such a normal guy wif talent according to liana. True i have to say. Im not a big fan of him. But a celeb will always be a celeb i guess.

Wen out with HIM a few days ago. He's nice n all paying my launch. but we got nothing to say to each other. like he say' we cant hav a conv tat can last 2 mins' True.Again. n wen i was out wif him, i couldnt look at him in the face. I look at other guys tat look at me instead. Lols. Im so fuck up. Wat to do. I tink he's waiting for me to sms him cause the last time he message me, I told him i was buzy. I hope i didnt raise false hope for him.

I was recommended to drop my pure n combine. I guess im doing it. Looking at the bright side i dun hav to study half as hard n still score A. cool.

I NID A HUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG.

FUCK.IM SO SCREWED.HELPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP

It's been soooooooooooo long since i last updated. U r now looking at the brand new me. I hav vowed not to be sad. dissapointed. furious over a guy. I realised i have my frenz. For example there was once i was soo moody den during geo i sat wif Km. n it was fucking fun. She was telling me abt de world stupidest criminals n i had a blast laughing.Of coz seeto interrupted n scolded. N i was happy for the rest of the day. Im starting to go for my cca. It's fun, i guess. Ordering the kids ard. i decided not to drop my subject. If the rest of my frenz can do it , im doing it all the way. Im going to study fucking hard for my O to get a beter future so i can ENJOY shopping sprees for the rest of my life. DO u ppl ever wonder why most songs are abt being in luv or being hurt cause of luv. I came up a possibility. Luv is the only thing in the world tat everyone takes interest in no matter how hurt they are bcos of it.It is something tat give different effects to diff pple. N i agree on the song tat' nothing hurts like luv' by daniel beddingfield. Haiz for those being hurt, the pain will go away but the scar will remain.But look at a positive side, u gain knowledge when u got hurt rite? N those who r confused abt luv, confession is the answer. For those now in luv, good luck for u. My brother's fren died yesterday.He's on the front page in the malay paper. Let's do a one minute silence for him. ok. He's juz 21. Haiz.Really pitied the family. I guess some things are much more worst than the problems we faced.. This is a reminder for all. If u hav tat thing deep in ur heart tat u want to tell someone, tell it before it's too late coz u'll never knoe wen u nid to go.

Gawd all this teachers telling us abt Os like we dun knoe how impt it is .--" Aniway. I had been studying. For the couples of days on the first week of january. But after tat i was too lazy to bother .Maybe next week, i'll start fresh by doing my hw here at home instead of at sch. Eh nxt week is last week of january. Tat was fast. yeassh. So anyway. Im cured. i think. i dunno. maybe. I haven been out since 1 jan. So sunday's trip will be my second outing for this year. ...........................................................................................................................................................Hah my life is a mess. i did absolute nothing educational or social for the pass 3 weeks. WHo am i to kid. im NOT cure. All i do is go home.On my radio or cds.Listen to it for hours. And sleep. Im definately not cured.

Im crushed. For now. Rejected someone i liked . Dun ask me why.i got no answer to tat question. After living for 15 yrs, i still dunno who i m. Wat i want wat i need and wat i desire. I still dun knoe wat is right to do or wat is not. i dunno where to go to or what im goin to become. i dunno who i liked and who i love. Wat i feel n wat's my mood. Wat's iimpt or was will nv be impt. To go left or to go right. I dun even trust myself to begin with. Set couple of rules for myself yesterday. Never expect and there wont be dissapointment and dun assume anything or anyone. Talked to mr lim yesterday.Discuss with him the possibility of me dropping some subjects. Maybe i will.Not that i can handle the subjects anyway. S aw Cruel Intentions on starmovie. Fucking great movie but didnt managed to watch the ending. Anyone who watched it, please tell me wat happened in the end. How was school? Hmm.. horrible. Had to do another freaking projects wif the same people who i simply hate. They never do anything to me. It's juz the face. Call me shallow.

New yr todae.Haha i dun feel any different.wAT's the big deal anyway!? So anyway i would like to do a thankful list for stuffs tat help me go thru this yr

` The maker of nutella.without u i would end up in the mental hospital

`The maker of Want Want. U help me fulfill my desire

` My ex tuiton teacher who changed my life when i was in pri 4. you make me a smarter person.Eventhough i dissapoint by ending up goin to this school, i might end up goin to worst school without ur help.Thanks soo much

` liana and khai for giving me bear2.Without him i might die of boredom

` the inventor of handphone. THanks for making this wonderful device.Eventhough i always arrived meetings late but without my hp i would be even later.And u help me get closer to some guys but sometimes u are a curse but let put tat aside

` My parents..for giving me my radio and other technology to kill my boredom and of coz givin birth to me and taking care of me for 15 yrs

` My computer. most of the time i spent cursing u but i hav to admit u help me get some work loads done and all those music i download and the wonderful ppl i met

` My blankie for keeping me warm when im cold and protecting me from the evil of the world

` fidah and shaf and taqiah . fOr still keeping close even when we are always apart

` My md player. THANKS for helping time pass by when i take any public transport.and blocking my mum's nagging

` My wonderful calender with all those codes.Motivate me to move further.ok tat wasnt true but it sounded good.

` my frenz for making school less sucky

` Fidah again for being there when i need u

` fadhirul and aishah for entertain me on the phone for very long hours

` Chun seng and viknesh and khay mar(sumtimes) for helping me to keep up in class

` Khay mar for making class interesting.Most of the time we ended up by u and the chong argueing abt u talking too much.ya interesting

`khai. For sticking up wif me.ya sumtimes i can be a bitch to hang ard wif so ya THANKS.

` amanda . i dun noe wat to thank for but thanks for being my friend. hope things doesnt change btw us

` shazwan. thanks la. for helping me to invent plans to not go for np and my studys and smsing me stupid stuffs



Ya thank you.. ** (= **

Juz got back from hols it sux.dun want talk abt it.So aniway.,., christmas is over so new yr coming up which means school.wat a drag..(--") AT the end of the yr i LUB to draw up lists n dis yr im doin it here so i will not forget abt it.



Stuffs im goin to do after Olvl.

* laugh at my bro.he haven go thru o level
* dye my roots dark blue
* do sum peircing job.but i wont write on my blog .i dun want my fate to end up like athena
* donate my books. nah..cancel tat tot.,. burn my bks
* destroy ugly gray thingy
* celebrate whole day
* laugh at those younger than me


I will add more as i grow up

In the meantime

* study
* study
* study
* study
* learnt to be considerate to my books / friends / teachers / brothers
* restrain self from throwing books from high level in sch building
* stop getting pissed or pissing (by) mt teacher
* stop copying hw from intellectual ppl
* stop hanging ard wif intellectual ppl juz to get their hw
* stop taking fadhirul / syahid / khai / asrida 's hw during mt
* start liking mt
* sstop staring at guys during lesson
* stop thinking abt him
* sstopp flirting wif unknown victim
* stop staying after sch to look at him
* go home early
* stop stressing self and other ppl ard me abt my weight
* start thnking abt the future
* stop making plans on getting rich by 30
* stop making ideas on opening up own company
8 stop talking on phone wif aishah or fad for long hours


yea tat's abt it.the possibility of me doing all this is ..hmm..let me c.. abt 10%

Bike riding was AWESOME. Went home wif muscle cramps and all but it was worthy.We met at west coast and there were all type of peaps dere. We were grouped and i was all alone in my gp but made sum frenz. Aniway the whole thing started at 12 md exactly.[checked my watch] The first route was kinda slow .Den when we reached the traffic lights, gps were seperated since we had to stop once it turns red. I was separated from my gp . i was last in the line wif dis other girl. WE were so confused since we were leadin the line and our leader was not infront to guide us.But then came dis guy . . and guess wat . . he's not bad looking. not surprised here cause most of the leaders are good looking and like above 20.and the girl infront of me was so very slow and he was riding beside us.i was afraid to move into his lane since he was very close. sO we cycled all the way to labouror park.WE came across another traffic.and the girl infront of me got to cross first b4 it turned red so i was stuck behind so NOW i was leading the line. and we were nearing to the park so he told me tat i was the only one from gp 7 and asked me if i could speed and i was like duh but juz said yea and so there we were speeding up the hill and we left the line.It was really REALLY nice. We challanged who could cycle faster and obviously he won since he got a mountain bike compared to mine( --') so rest at the park and continued to cycle towards kallang. The streets of orchard were unusually empty. Saw a few crazy ppl and polices patrolling wif guns.The not bad looking leader was not wif us but saw him when we left kallang .he was wif his fren and i was like speeding.Ok the rule was nv speed, nv cut the person infront of u and nv do stunts. Den his fren was like "eh dun speed' and i slowed down and they were joking around saying sumthing like giving lecture on speeding to me. SO After kallang we went to east coast. By the time we reached east coast,it was 5.And it started to rain. Got back around 10..FUNFUNFUN tat day was. So on tue i did nothin but rot.On wed wen out wif my mum. ON thur , went to bugis.On fri,went to m'sia. And todae,The usual. my sat routine.watch tv.eat.sleep.computer.But this week is awesome.

I juz written dis whole chunk of paragraph and i want to save and *poof* it's gone.Im so fuck up wif computers.Technology for humans my ass. Im so piss tat i need to sleep.mayb sum day i write abt wat i wrote before dis post./

ok so i cant sleep so might as well i type abt wat i type juz now before it went poof. So 2 DAYS ago, went out wif aishah.it was a fun day. Our mittin point was at school.dun ask me y. i was late.as usual. I would be even later if aishah had not call me up. So went to school 30 minutes later and there they were pple attending their ccas. i got mo idea y the hel;l r they wasting precious hols time goin to cca. Mus be no social life. So aniway. there was a hussle in schoo. Too lazy to type.ask me if u wanna knoe. Finally we got out of sch and we went to the lib.Not much pple there so we went to EC. Saw someone we knoe holdin hands wif someone we dunno. SAt and ate.We later than walk to IMM since aishah had no money to go to jp.WE took a free bus ride to JP.THe last time we went jp was went aishah and hyt was so worked up to c taufiq. Jp is like my key to my closet. Eberything i want is there but they r so x. but the clothes and earrings are so cute and pretty tat i need it. so badly.have to save money again. sO ANyway we went down to HELL. And there he was standing.the guy in my dreams. lol..he was standin wif his dad i tink and he was checkin us out. he was cute and cool and short.but nvm im short so it's not a matter. and aishah had to spoilt it all by draggin me to the passageway to the post office.she didnt c the guy though.She had to pay sum bill. and by the time we got back he's gone.juz like my previous post. suck like hell and it's all aishah's fault. She own me big time. I knoe sum of u ppl who knoe abt my story wif him might been wondering tat i m suppose to b attach to only one guy but god we r not even steady yet. so it's still legal. and by the way he's moving too slow and to update u guys abt us,,we are still on level 3. not doin anything to get to lvl 4. sO YEA yawnyawn.. 2moro which is todae im goin bike riding coast to coast at 12 md. hope it doesnt rain since it's december. cant wait..tata

Wat can i say im HAPPY and im CONFUSED at the same time for some reason. Oo and SAD TOO becos i didnt c my cute no not cute.handsome coz who came here 2dae when i was out sumwhere. BEEn goin out alot lately and im getting sick of it.Yea rite..like tat would ever happen.. (--")..BUT im sick..coughing and all tat. SO aniway it 12 mn.happy b'dae HUYU. im bored and i duno wat to rite.the only reason im updating my blog is bcos km forced me to. Oo i learnt sumthin 2dae.i learnt how to spell km's name.L O L.Been sitting beside u for one semester and i dun even knoe how to spell ur name.Dis is how distracted i am in class.Yes my mum is givin me a lecture abt not wasting my time in front of computer and study for my O at 12 mn. Yes im goin to switch off my computer and sleep so i wont be hearing the rest of the lecture.

For more photos visit khai's bloggy..she had a few up . Fyi it's our jalan raya photo on the first day which was on mon.The second day was on wed and the third is next week but de date not confirm yet. So aniway, WED was specially Fun.Got back around 11.30pm.We started around 1.3o..Actually it was 12.30 but i came late and everyone have to wait for me.Den we went to nas house.den um i dun remember.but i remember the time when me and aishah trapped Adi in the bus to interogate him abt some stuffs.It was funny and i learnt a hugh deal after minutes askin him to speak up. I oso remember goin to aishah's house and saw taufik's autograph. De most interestin house had to be syahid's.His sister put the H in H0T.All of us were wondering how he and she are related.God works in mysterious way i guess.After his house we went downstairs to play bunge api.By tat time it was 9.15.The boys were throwin it in great distances and i was hopin tat nobody called the cops up. And the xcitement ended around 10.15. Fun. On thur, i went to sch for the open house cum buying my bks. I'm not involved in the whole open house thingy.As usual.I was invited to help up for np but nar..i rejected..lol..Anyway i cant go np.I will get killed for dying my hair.So when i took 154.i saw hambali.Gotdown the bus and dere he was.Wait sorry,not suppose to rite abt him.sOMething happened.Den went into school.went to malay dept.saw liana and aishah. sat and chat.Not much pple came.wat can i say.My sch's pathetic.bought my bks and went home wif liana.Den there he was again.Talk abt my highlight.tat's all. Oooooooo my bro's not around.he in m`sia .and im nv been so happy.

hyt.me.liana 

Juz got back from m'sia. Went dere wif only my bro. Boy, de amt of money we spent in one day is like saving for a yr.Bought LOTS of stuffs.Stayed dere only for 3 days.No place is better than home no matter how interesting a place might be.Hari Raya's comin in another 4 days and after tat $$ will be pouring! No, im not 100 percent lookin forward to the money.Only abt 99 percent. Lol.* HR also means gathering.yea.Nothin's more better than lil old gathering wif relatives.But wait a minute..nvm.change of mind to tell u peaps abt my family.Aniway ditch geog lesson today and yesterday.It's a boring subject and i hav no interest in it.. I knoe O's is nxt yr and hav to b mentally prepared blah..blah.. but why study now when dere's always nxt yr. SO soory u guys for not pitchin in de project today but im sooOO tired. But I' ll make up for the other project, k?Wat was it abt aniway? The song 'Over and Over again' rocks..lluv it so much but unfortunately due to my lack of knowledge to change songs in blog,im stuck to dis Hilary duff song.

So how?Lyke my new skin.Its fab.Now butterflies r de in thing for me.And Km.Funny how we usually lyke the same stuffs at the same moment. niway..today and every other days dis week haf to go to school.For extra lessons.U knoe how teachers complaining tat they have not enough tyme to cover all de chapters. Dis is one of their excuse for them to drag us all the way to school to torment us again lyke one whole yr wasnt enough. I find dis excuse kinda sux.Come on.They can xtually cover all the chapters within 10 mths given if only they dun waste tyme lecturing us.Like Choong.But he covered all the chapters so bad example.Ok how abt Lee.He talked too much.And sum teachers keep repeatin themselves OVER and OVER again like we are tat stupid.For example Seeto. cheez.. My hws *surprisesurprise* Im halfway thru. wat can i say holiday at home is BooorINg and goin out..hmm where can i find sumplace xcitin in S'PORE? and i cant shop wif an empty stomach. having camp on dec i tink.guess im not goin.as usual. Ok let me clear dis up once and for all.The whole 'him' thing i wrote in the past is over.Nada.Zero.Nothin.Forget i even write abt him.He's a fuckin slut.So no more stories abt him.